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  • Writer's pictureSimi Hanspal

Boost Self-Esteem and Confidence.

Updated: Mar 31, 2021

I believe I can fly.

Today in my line of work, I come across people suffering from low self-esteem or low in confidence. Sometimes these people are the most accomplished – either professionally or have very good relationships – yet, the fear of self-doubts and not being good enough is constantly looming over them.

Not long ago, I was plagued by similar thoughts. I would constantly second guess my decisions – in fact I got so good at letting others decide for me (and then not be happy with it!) I remember my elders would always say, “Oh you won’t be able to do it. Here let me help you with it”. This became a pattern and I never learnt to do things for myself with confidence. It guess it would be so easy to blame others for my lack of confidence but I think it's no use beating a dead horse anymore. I felt I was ready to work on these issues. I was so tired of hearing things like ‘I am older so I know better!” or “I have more experience in life than you”.

It was time to make a change.

  • I needed to start trusting myself

  • Accept the outcome good/bad of it all.

Questioning every decision is too exhausting and time consuming. It also means that I don’t respect myself enough. Instead of telling myself how stupid I am for a slip up – I needed to be more forgiving more compassionate towards myself. The moment I gave myself the ‘permissions’ to make mistakes and learn from them, I had a better understanding of myself and of others. It made it easier to accept others with all their flaws and all I became free from judgement – for myself and for others. I also learnt that self-trust doesn’t mean that I will be perfect in the job – it only means I will survive even if I am not!

I started to believe in myself – I found the courage to meet my immediate goals. I had the confidence to take up challenges which I would run away from earlier. It was probably the hardest thing to do – to accept myself wholly and believe how extraordinary I can really be, this transpired into my attitude and personality and my work. Once I believed in myself – others followed. The same people who held me back from doing tasks were now reaching out to me to do tasks for them.

So, what worked for me and boosted my self-esteem and confidence?

  • The trick was to be accepting of myself without being judgmental.

  • Journaling my successes (however small they might seem) became a constant reminder of my achievements.

  • Observing my thoughts and behavior patterns and working on the inner conflict of whether it's saying ‘no’ to people or asserting my point of view.

  • Stepping out of other people’s expectations.

  • Believing that I can and I will.

  • Getting out of my comfort zone.

Some people did not like the “new me,” and that’s OK. They play a more limited role in my life. Fortunately, when I am authentically ME, the right people are drawn to me, and real friendships will grow even stronger.

I believe I can live better with less drama in my life
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