“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”– Carl Jung
This is our reality – of human beings. We believe we are because of what happened to us. We tend to think our sense of self worth is linked to our past. All our achievements is how others view us as. However, Carl Jung puts it very clearly… “we are, who we CHOOSE to become”. Whatever happens to us isn’t a choice, but how we react to it is always our choice. How we choose to Respond to every situation is a Choice.
To be empowered, it is important to leave the past behind and decide Today… Who we want and will be…from now onwards. In the real world, we listen to so many conflicting messages telling us who should be, what we should buy, whom to vote for, and so on.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung”
Have you often wondered, “Why do bad things keep happening to me?” or “Why am I always surrounded by negative people only?” well, it the sub-conscious mind that controls our behavior primarily. It collects and stores all data and controls our lives by repeating the same reactions and responses as well as the same problems, over and over in an endless loop.
Wasn’t it Einstein who said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Until you CHANGE the reactions, responses and actions you’ve conditioned into yourself unconsciously, you won’t see different OUTCOMES in your life”?
Unless we create awareness about how we FEEL and ACT on a consistent basis, we will keep operating in auto-pilot and keep getting frustrated. One can consciously change habits, feelings and behaviors and with repetitions they can be reprogrammed into our new subconscious minds. Old patterns, once made aware of, can be replaced by learning new, effective, healthy patterns that work for us.
It's important to realize that whatever happens in life is not a reality, but what we make sense of it. Let me explain more. On a good day a challenging situation will be dealt with confidence and resolution and the same challenge, on a bad day, will be met with anger and frustration. So you see, the same problem is faced depending on how you are perceiving it. Small issues seem huge when we are troubled and big issues can disappear when we look at them with confidence. It's our choice to see the beauty and the ugliness in every situation. We choose to make a big issue bigger!
It is necessary to take a step back and not judge ourselves. We have to Choose to stop seeing ourselves from other peoples’ lenses. Seeing yourself with more optimism will give you positivity which will lead to less despair. Those who look on the outside for validation of who they are or how they fit into the world are living at the behest of others. This is not an authentic life – as you constantly look at others to tell you how to be… the Real you is the one liberated from all outside expectations and opinions.
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness's of other people.” – Carl Jung
We all make mistakes... and, when we stumbled, we knew better and so we did better. Just like we don't want to hurt others through our behavior, we must learn to not hurt ourselves to. It's important to understand that the darkness around us will not linger on for long. Without it, we will not learn from the mistakes we have made and we will not know how to move on effectively. It helps us develop the tools to do better.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung
Anything that irritates you in another person is slightly something that you don't like, that is within you. The other things that we are most fearful of, that it may come out of ourselves. It's a mirror to our own personality and what irritates us in others can teach us important things about ourselves. Pay attention to those things in others that are dictate us, and perhaps there is something that we can work on too. Allowing ourselves to let go of our own need for power and control. Can bring about more love and compassion and understanding in our own world. The endless seeking of power and control is due to lack of love dot. A lack of connection and empathy for others and ourselves.
Carl Jung says that if there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that we could better be changed in ourselves. The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect, but by the play instinct, acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays what the object it loves.
Self-actualization is the highest level of psychological health. A psychologically healthy and fully functioning person is the one who is capable to open to all experience, the one who has a tendency to live fully in every moment, the one who has the ability to be guided by his instincts rather than by reason or the opinions of others, the one who has a sense of freedom of thought and action…
So let’s face it - we didn’t choose to be abused, we can fight this and we can become who we want to be, we can live a great and exciting life, we can influence others and help them recover too, and all this only if we look deep inside in ourselves and find that motivation To Be! The self-actualization is the greatest goal of every person and every person builds his own “destiny.” Only then we can become fully-functioning individuals, capable of helping others too, and doing amazing things in our life.
We all learn to SURVIVE!
Ultimately, we are all judged anyways... on how we show up everyday... who we are... what we do... never watch who we say we are or what we are going to do. Leaving the need for validation behind and being who we intend to be… doing what we want to do... and letting the right people show up because of those choices.
“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”– Carl Jung
Our personal responsibility is to decide on what we want to focus on, what we do, what we choose. We may choose to get carried away by events of life or we may stand solid and pave our own paths. We are not what happened to us. We can choose our future without being tainted by our past.
Do it for YOU!